Unfortunately, rich people are often as wealthy as they are evil and smart. Us poor folk couldn’t think of something as brilliantly diabolical as wealthy Manhattan moms hiring handicapped people to pose as members of their family so their children don’t have to wait in lines. We’re too busy eating our Easy Mac coated with dirt and tears.
According to a rare New York Post story that doesn’t need a pun headline for you to want to read it:
The “black-market Disney guides” run $130 an hour, or $1,040 for an eight-hour day.
“My daughter waited one minute to get on ‘It’s a Small World’ — the other kids had to wait 2 1/2 hours,” crowed one mom, who hired a disabled guide through Dream Tours Florida.
“You can’t go to Disney without a tour concierge,’’ she sniffed. “This is how the 1 percent does Disney.” (Via)
One Percent Does Disney wasn’t nearly as successful as Debbie Does Dallas.
Passing around the rogue guide service’s phone number recently became a shameless ritual among Manhattan’s private-school set. The service asks who referred you before they even take your call.
“It’s insider knowledge that very few have and share carefully,” said social anthropologist Dr. Wednesday Martin, who caught wind of the underground network while doing research for her upcoming book Primates of Park Avenue.
“Who wants a [Disney World’s VIP Tours] speed pass when you can use your black-market handicapped guide to circumvent the lines all together?” she said.
Ironically, in the minds of rich people, it’s only “The Blacks” who go to the market.