Richie Incognito Ordered the Code Red

11.05.13 4 years ago 62 Comments

Yesterday, current (and probably former) Miami Dolphins offensive lineman Richie Incognito was exposed as a violent, racist, defecation exhibitionist when voice mails he’d left teammate Jonathan Martin were made public.

Since it is the NFL we’re dealing with, it was only a matter of time before members of the old guard came out and branded Martin as something of a pussy. And it didn’t take long.

“I think Jonathan Martin is a weak person,” said one personnel man, speaking on the condition of anonymity. “If Incognito did offend him racially, that’s something you have to handle as a man! Mike Pouncey was a rookie at one point while Incognito was there and you never heard any complaints from him. There’s no other way to put it, other than him being sofTTT!”

Emphasis my own, because HOLY SHIT is that insane. These are the people running NFL franchises: hypocritical dunces running around calling everyone else soft while they’re shielded in a magical cloak of anonymity.

Anyway, I imagine we’re just getting started with the saga of Richie Incognito. And since we’re dealing with workplace harassment – in addition to the bevy of NFL sanctions that no doubt will come of this – the whole thing could potentially wind up in civil court. Maybe. (NOTE: I’m not a lawyer). Which means this exchange is still very much a possibility:

Richie Incognito: You want answers?

Adam Schefter: I want the truth!

Incognito: You can’t handle the truth! Son, we live in a world that has football. And these quarterbacks have to be guarded by men with balls. Who’s gonna do it? You? You, Private Shitheel?

[Points to Peter King]

I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You weep for Jonathan Martin and you curse the locker room. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know: that Martin’s public shaming, while tragic, probably saved lives. And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves lives…You don’t want the truth. Because deep down, in places you don’t talk about in press boxes, you want me on that line. You need me on that line.

We use words like honor, code, loyalty…we use these words as the backbone to a life spent defending something. You use ’em as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who lives and cashes a paycheck under the umbrella of the very sport I play, then questions the manner in which I play it! I’d rather you just said ‘thank you’ and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you don a set of pads and pick up a blitz.

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