Riddick Bowe May Not Understand How The Female Body Works

Former boxing world champion, pro wrestling hopeful and Fresh Prince accoster Riddick Bowe does not enjoy paying $7 for a cup of coffee.

To express this, I think Bowe tried to make a “the prices are going up like my dick.” I’m not sure, because what came out was at best a confusing jumble of phrasing, and at worst an announcement that Bowe has accidentally been f*cking dudes for the last 30 years.

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you, “Riddick Bowe Thinks The Price Of Coffee Is Too Damn High, And Also Whoops.”

Working theories:

1. Bowe considers the clitoris a “ding dong.” If that’s the case, how is he raising the vagina up? Is he talking about moisture? Is he raising the water levels of a lady’s vagina?

2. Bowe has been having sex with guys (dressed as women?) and is talking about the butthole. If that’s the case, why are they? That can’t be sanitary. A wet butthole is nothing to brag about.

3. Brain damage and nobody to ghost tweet for him.

I’m going with #3, because it explains this …

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