The Seahawks’ Fake Twitter Bots Would Like To Remind You That Twitter’s IPO Is Bullsh*t

11.07.13 4 years ago 28 Comments


Before going live on the New York Stock Exchange this morning, Twitter had to file a bunch of reports giving a detailed profile of their business. In these SEC filings, they claim to have a network of 232 million “active monthly users,” defined as users who post, or interact (Fav/Retweeting) over the course of any given month. Yes, 20 million of these are Stewie from Family Guy parody accounts that steal jokes from your aunts Facebook page, but many many more are just empty profiles created to line the pockets of VPs of Marketing.

The Seattle Seahawks are the latest to have been caught pumping in artificial crowd noise on Twitter. Whichever social media guru/rockstar/can of tinactin the Seahawks have been using to artificially drive up their hashtags has been slipping up recently and letting typos into their communications with the bots, which makes the robots as easy to identify as their inability to love. Either that, or thousands of Seahawks fans are unable to spell “Comeback” correctly which would be hard to believe given all the emails they write to their grown children in Portland. A simple search for “Seahawks Comback” shows how they’ve been using fake Twitter followers to increase the relevance of the Seahawks “brand” and hashtag which yeah, they’re already an NFL team so the market might be kind of saturated there.

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Marketing and PR firms make a lot of guarantees to their clients, among these are “x amount of interactions with your brand,” “we will double your follower count,” or “I am a bullshit artist.” Then they go out and either create or buy a shit load of bots to interact with your company’s Twitter account, and increase the relevance of your “hashtags.” Sound like a bubble to you? No, me neither.

Anyways, there’s still time for the Chiefs to get all pissy about the Seahawks being louder than they are again and accidentally create a #Chefs hashtag if we’re lucky. But the whole Twitter bot thing speaks more to the circle-jerk that is the monitization of social-media and how it’s mostly comprised of marketers who get money from  CEOs to “get on board this new Twitter thing,” and then just use the money to justify their jobs in the first place. But guess what? Twitter’s stock price is up 80% today, so it looks like smooth sailing from here on out!


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