Last week, you may have happened upon — over the course of your wanderings of the internet — nude photos of Orlando Bloom that popped up (no pun intended) during a paddle board outing with his girlfriend Katy Perry while vacationing in Italy. Not to be outdone, a few days later nude photos of Justin Bieber surfaced during a Hawaii vacation with his maybe-girlfriend, Australian bikini model Sahara Ray — which may or may not have been a coincidence considering Bieber’s previous feud with Bloom.
This is all mostly inconsequential, because the important thing here is that over the weekend, Watch What Happens Live host Andy Cohen asked guest Seth Rogen the question we’ve all been wondering: who has a nicer penis, Orlando Bloom or Justin Bieber?
As a straight man, you might not think that Rogen would have much of an opinion about the uncensored penises of celebrities. You would be wrong. “As soon as I hear there’s a famous penis out there,” he explained, “I am the first person to ravenously devour it online.” He makes a good point, though, that Bieber’s schlong is old news at this point, since it’s nothing we haven’t already seen before. Also in Bloom’s favor, Rogen reasons, “Orlando’s probably a bigger guy, and proportionally, his penis still looked… to scale, which makes me think overall, it’s probably bigger.”
It’s obvious that Rogen has put a lot of thought into this, so I really can’t argue with any of his points, here.