Embarking on a new relationship can be treacherous territory. When do you show your new significant other that retainer that you have to wear every night for the rest of your life? Or more crucially, when is it safe to engage in one of the most natural yet stigmatized of bodily functions, farting? For a sort of definitive answer, there’s now a survey available.
Mic asked 125 people in their 20s and 30s about when they feel comfortable farting in front of their partners. The largest proportion, or around 29 percent, said that it takes two to six months into the relationship for them to do it. However, the amount of people who wait six to 12 months into a relationship was almost as much, at 25.2 percent. This is apparently all in line with a Match.com survey, where people start saying “I love you” around the five month mark in a relationship. If that’s the case, what if your partner starts farting in front of you but doesn’t say “I love you?” Do you need to fish for those three words or not, then?
And if farting = intimacy = love, does that mean happily ever after? You and your partner may be able to be real like that, but if your core values don’t match up, you’re probably still doomed anyway.