Sudden Death: Best Recourse For Old People Inner-City Orphans NFL Overtime Games

03.21.07 11 years ago 48 Comments

I fucking love the NFL’s overtime format. It’s rigid and unforgiving, like my cock. It also rocks your face, but maybe you just don’t know it yet, maybe because you’re too busy thinking about the homeless. You’re always thinking about the gaddamned homeless; can’t you see that THEY WANT TO BE POOR!?!?

Some of you assholes act like winning the coin flip wins the game. Not fucking so, though I’d say if you can’t correctly identify an outcome that has a 50 percent chance of happening, your ineptitude has no place in mock combat.

Anyway, even if you’re in OT and you lose the toss, you still kick off and have a chance to pin the other team deep. You can still stop your opponents on defense. And even if you fuck that up, they still can block the candy-assed 27-yard field goal attempt that will win the game.

“But it would be MORE FAIR if both teams got the ball,” you would mutter through your vagigi as you hang your Che Guevara out the window of your studio apartment to air dry.

Yeah, so those ten or twelve possessions your team had in regulation, wasn’t that fair? What about not banishing the special teams units to the sideline to reprise the same pivotal role they played during regulation. Wouldn’t that be fair?

Some of you are just in love with the Gay Circus Overtime they use in the college game, because each team gets a turn on the top AND the bottom. We saw a gay circus at the start of the Super Bowl, and most of us can safely agree what a colossal failure that was.

Your views and improvements for OT are welcome in the comments.

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