Suggested Titles For Michael Vick’s Manuscript

03.25.09 9 years ago 148 Comments

This week the AJC reported that in addition to switching defense attorneys, Michael Vick has been busy penning a book during his time in prison. The former Falcon is still looking for a co-author for project, so we figured we’d toss our collective hat in the ring. What follows is a list of our suggested book titles that should show Vick just how serious we are about this whole enterprise. There will be rape stand jokes.

Mexican Psycho
If I Did It…Ah Fuck, Yeah I Did It
Everyone Makes Mistakes
Little Bitches
White Fang
The Red Badge of Dog Blood
One Flew Over the Fighting Pit
How Much is That Doggie in the Window and How Quickly Can I Strip of His Loving, Docile Demeanor and Turn Him into a Vicious Killing Machine With a Taste for Flesh?
To Kill a Fighting Dog
All Dogs Go To The Rape Stand
If It Ain’t A Pit, It Ain’t Shit
Why Michael Jenkins is to Blame For This Entire Mess
Rin Tin TKO
I Might Have Misunderstood the Phrase ‘Hangdog Expression’
Mike’s Adventures In Jenkem Land
Marley and His Opponent and Me
101 Dalmatians with Their Throats Ripped Out
Four Legs And A Funeral
What We Did When We Didn’t Feel Like Playing Tiger Woods
Dead Dogs Tell No Tails
I Know Why the Caged Dog Howls (Because I Electrocuted Its Balls)
No Exit: And Three Other Stories About The Torture Room
Oedipus Rex and Other Dogs I Killed
The Killing of a Chinese Ookie
Howl and Other Poems About Dog Rape
The Rape Stand In the Rye
Dogtown and C-Block
Doghouse versus Big House — WHO YA GOT?
Everything is Illuminated (Because Otherwise You Couldn’t See the Dogs Fight)
The Canine Pugilist at Rest
Turner vs. Hooch
Air Bud 6: Ultimate Fighter
Milo and Otis’ Severed Claw
Lassie Come Fight

Add your own in the comments.

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