Super Mario vs. One of Those Gay Manning Koopa Kids. WHO YA GOT?

12.21.07 10 years ago 22 Comments

Hey, it’s a match-up for former number 1 picks who actually panned out into pretty good players. What’s more, it’s a situation in which the two players actually interact with one another, not like when two superstar players who both play offense or defense happen to be in the same game and we have to pretend one’s performance can affect the other. Hey, look Purple Jesus put 125 on the ‘Skins. He totally shut down Clinton Portis! Anyway, WHO YA GOT?


Mario Williams_______Peyton Manning

No. 1 pick of

2006 NFL Draft_______Unimaginative advertisers everywhere

Power ups

Stars, mushrooms, flowers, construda__Gesturing frantically at line, buttsecks

Helped by

Warp pipe to quarterback_______Hiding in Elisha Koopa’s squash fortress

Made famous by

Being better than Reggie Bush___Sticking Captain N’s light gun up his chute


Kart________Chesney, on a cart

Can fly if

Wears a yellow cape_______Loafers get light enough

Favorite environment

Water level__________Fire (Island) level

Finishing move

Saves princess___________Surgery to become princess

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