The Adam Sandler Movie Matrix

While enjoying the embarrassment of Thursday night riches that was all the football and NBC sitcoms last night I had my euphoria interrupted several times by ads for the new Adam Sandler movie that shall not be named. Every time I found myself thinking the same thought: “Of all the sh*tty and insulting movies Sandler has churned out over the past decade this one is destined to go down as the sh*ttiest and most insulting.” And then I was all, “Lightbulb! Movie Matrix!”

So I planned to spend my groggy Friday morning photoshopping together a graphic that would end with a photo of Sandler in drag in a bottom corner maxing out on insulting and unfunny. Thankfully I paid a visit to the Google first and discovered that the wankers over at the Shiznit — the guys responsible for the brilliant Nic Cage Matrix — had already beat me to it earlier this week.

My spectrum would have ranged from “Funny” to “Unfunny” and “Respectable” to “Insulting” but I think we can all agree that they’re much better at cropping Sandler heads than I am. Not to mention, much more comprehensive. The hell if I would have included Mixed Nuts, Going Overboard, or the Rob Schneider cameos. Let the arguments over the Little Nicky placement begin!

The Shiznit

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