The Cheese Stands Alone

06.01.11 6 years ago 27 Comments

“It’s all in the game, though, right?”

The Washington Post‘s resident Dithering Dairy Nebbish Dan Steinberg has been subpoenaed as part of Dan Snyder’s campaign against the media’s heinous tendency toward afflicting the comforted and vice versa. This all because Steinz had the gall to link to Dave McKenna’s now-infamous list of reasons why Snyder is, if I may paraphrase, a gigatwat. Not that Snyder himself has done more to publicize the piece more than a million D.C. Sports Bog links ever could. Anyway, according to my interpretation of court papers (POSSIBLY MADE FROM TREES CUT TO CLEAR A VIEW OF THE POTOMAC RIVER – WE’LL NEVER KNOW!) sent from Snyder to WaPo, I believe the Redskins owner wishes to ascertain the truth as to whether Snyder and McKenna are, in fact, a Leopold and Loeb-like tandem of killers who wish to target only NFL owners possessing a height of 4′ 8″ or shorter.

Let us be the first to clear the air. Steinberg and McKenna are not “in league” with one another. They fell prey, as many in the media often do, to our habit of trapping them in a bedroom and flipping the light switch on and off while shouting “DAN SNYDER FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT”

Artist rendering

So, you see, all this Snyder-bashing is completely the fault of the folks here at KSK. Unless you wish to pursue legal action, in which case, this is just a stupid post written by a raving insensate derelict and completely devoid of merit, which isn’t really that far from the truth. Plus, it’s all cool because we’re a satire site. If Snyder’s journo pappy caught him up sufficiently on libel law, Danny should know that as a public figure that he’s fair game to unbelievably cruel ridicule as long as we don’t present it as the truth. Ipso fucko.

[Re-reads handy satire libel checklist before posting]
[Changes all references to Sam Blyder]

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