The Cowboys Have A Gaudy New Bus Called ‘The Elegant Lady’

02.19.13 5 years ago 23 Comments

It wasn’t insulting enough that the Cowboys fired Rob Ryan, but the team did it just before it unveiled its brand-new $2 million bus, which will be making its first “official” appearance in Indianapolis during the Scouting Combine. So for the folks who saw the bus when it was in New Orleans for the Super Bowl, know that you did not OFFICIALLY see it.

Anyway, the 45-foot-long bus has such fancy amenities as Tiffany crystals, nine televisions, a couch that Larry Allen squished when he found out he would be enshrined in the Hall of Fame and HIDDEN COOLERS. That last feature would have especially nice for the Wolfman. He could have concealed containers of dip spit and grain alcohol all over that thing.

The bus has been named “The Elegant Lady” because Jerry Jones is a man of refinement. Also, he needed a name that sounds classy so Susan Skaggs will give him road head in it and not feel trashy.

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