This rather fantastic video of a 2007 Raiders-Chargers tailgate introduces us to perhaps the most fearsome Raider fan in the galaxy. I speak, of course, of the infamous (as in MORE THAN FAMOUS) Senor Raider. Because there’s nothing more intimidating that a fat man in a black sombrero. It also introduces us to Milt. AND IF YOU DON’T LIKE MILT THEN YOU A BITCH. Let’s make like flubby and do a play-by-play of the action.
0:00 – “Reevers! Reeverssss…” That means you, Marmatard! Huh? Que? CHINGATE!
0:05 – LaDamian! LaDamian, call yo mama!
0:10 – Ah, a stock music version of “Back in Black”. It’s like hearing an episode of “Rock Star: Supernova”
0:40 – Meet my new favorite person in the world: Milt. “Hey Shawne Merriman, YOU A BITCH. YOU A FAGGOT.” I want a hat like that. It says to people, “I’m warm and cozy, but I still hate your fucking guts.” That has to be the only black man on Earth named Milt.
1:45 – “You gonna get season tickets? If you can afford them? I tell you, this is how Raider Nation rolls.” With a surprising amount of economic practicality, it would seem.
2:00 – A toothless, bandana wearing asshole wearing garish clothing? And he’s from Baltimore? GTFO!
2:30 – “Win or lose, you are a Raider.” You certainly are.
3:20 – MILT! MILT IS IN YO FUCKING MIND! MILT IS THE SECRET WEAPON! “The mindfuck is a motherfuck. We skullfuck them bitches.”
4:00 – Don’t be emailin’ Milt, you Kansas City BITCH.