The Night Marmalard Became The Fun-Loving Marma-lad

11.22.10 7 years ago 30 Comments

San Diego is well on its way to turning another dreadful start into a playoff run that culminates with an underwhelming performance once the postseason actually starts. And that’s good – just enough success to ensure that Norv Turner remains their head coach.

You could tell ESPN was all evening trying out Rivers for the fun-loving Southerner who plays like a kid out there archetype recently made vacant with Brett Favre’s career having sounded the death knell. Every play came with a comment about Rivers’ child-like enthusiasm. Then they actually showed footage from his childhood. Gruden even had Marmalard on the bus teaching him how to trash talk using dopey rhetorical questions to Jaws. I prefer him calling someone a cockwallet then laughing in their face.

Woof. That’s not up to the usual standard of tackling by Bill Parker lawn signs. Maybe we can chalk it up to Rivers’ innate lumbering elusiveness. Or maybe Rivers’ froze him with a icy stare from the Laserface. ESPN wanted to make sure a national audience got an up-close view.

That’s intimidation at its doughiest!

Oh, for the love of all things holy, those San Diego fans purposely dressed up as Na’vi? Inexcusable, though you know San Diego would be unstoppable if the team had a couple 12-foot-tall receivers available to snatch Rivers’ floats.

I don’t get the Devo connection to the Broncos that fattie here is going for, but if the other side’s fans are repping Avatar costumes, I’m willing to let a lot slide.

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