The Thought Process Of DeAngelo Hall

10.20.08 9 years ago 18 Comments

Hall intercepted Brett Favre in the fourth quarter of the Raiders-Jets game yesterday. This is exactly what he was thinking.

Cotchery, you motherfucking motherfucker. I been ownin’ your ass all day. All day, sucka! You ain’t gettin’ no more shit on 2-1 today. Wait, fuck, I wear 23 now. When the fuck did that happen? I’m still wearing that Free Mike Vick t-shirt underneath. Man, how did he get his ass in jail? Too bad he doesn’t think the way I think.


There’s the snap! Come on, Jericho, you biblical bitch! Try and run a go on me, you fuckass fuck! Looks like that white guy is throwing it deep. Mike Vick never threw it deep.

Hey, why’s Jehovah cutting underneath? Ball’s going this way, fool. Oh shit, I think I can get to this one. This is like returning a punt, except I’m running backwards. Like a chinchilla or some shit. Like downhill or somethin’. I’mma plow like 50 bitches tonight if I can run this back to the house. 




Damn, that ball’s hanging up there forever. What’s everybody doing after the game, I wonder? I know this great rib joint that just opened up. It’s like right by my house. I might even be able to walk there. Hey, maybe McCain could clean up Washington. Square roots are the dumbest thing ever. Hey, I think this ball’s coming down. I don’t see any snow on it. What city are we in?



Got it! Fire, baby! Taking this to the house! Mike Vick never picked anybody off before! But he never really played defense. Except after HE threw a pick. Goddamn, I wish I could’ve played against him. I’d have like 500 more picks or something. Oh, shit, I’m gonna get hit. When did I get so blurry?



Yeah! First down! Come on, other black quarterback! You can do it!

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