“The Way The Cops Converged, Fucked Up My Swerve…”

11.05.08 9 years ago 39 Comments

I got pulled over for like the tenth or eleventh time this year this past week and it’s starting to piss me off. Thankfully I’ve escaped ticket-less for all of them (*knocks on wood*), but I can only say I deserved to be pulled like thrice out of all those times.

All the other times have been on some profiling/cop bored out their mind. Being African-American, mid 20’s and driving a pretty decent car a majority of the time doesn’t help at all. I can’t help but feel angered because these dumb asses keep wasting time on me when I know they could be doing real police work (word to McNulty).

Take for instance what happened to me this time. I’m driving home talking to my girlfriend when I notice a cop tailing me. So I hang up with her, slow down to the speed limit, & put the left hand on the wheel for good measure. He follows me for a good three blocks & I know we’re on a collision course to meet. It’s only a matter of time.

So I look in the rearview and see those familiar flashing lights. I pull over, turn up Viva La Hova, and wait for him to mosey on over. I put the window down and the conversation went like this:

Pig: Do you know why I pulled you over sir?

MZ: No.

Pig: Well, either you were swerving to miss that pothole or you’ve been drinking. It is that time of night.

M: (Thinking “what the hell are you talking about!”) Yeah i was avoiding the pothole…. and obviously I haven’t been drinking

Pig: Yeah, I can see that now, license, proof of insurance, and registration please.

M: *Hands over paperwork and hopes this won’t take long.*

So he takes my stuff and heads back to his cruiser and I’m ready to go. It’s one in the morning and forty degrees outside. I’m literally five minutes from home and tired as hell. A couple minutes pass and I look out my rearview to see like five sets of flashing lights and another squad car pulling up in the parking like next to me. These fools are having a pow wow behind me and I’m really regretting turning off the engine because I’m cold as hell. 10 minutes later he saunters back over.

Pig: Well everything looks in order. Be safe out here and have a good night.

M: *Silence as I hold my tongue*

As soon as he walked away, I started the car, picked out RBG: Revolutionary But Gangsta and put on the “Hell Yeah.” Not to knock M-1 and Stic.man, because I actually believe they’ve done what they spit in that song, but Jay-Z summed up how I felt perfectly at that moment. Johnny Law doesn’t care whether you choose to live your life on the wrong or right side of the tracks; they’ll fuck with whomever they want to. They just better be happy I chose the right side.

But if some crazy riot were to ensue, this song (and album) will be what I have in mind while I’m helping flip over a squad car on my way to loot Best Buy and the Lacoste store.

Dead Prez Feat. Jay-Z – Hell Yeah (Remix)

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