An Adorable Third Grader Paid Tribute To Mike Tyson For His 50th Birthday On ‘Jimmy Kimmel Live’

Mike Tyson just turned 50, y’all! To honor this momentous occasion, Jimmy Kimmel recruited the services of a third grader named Tristan to perform a birthday tribute to the man, the boxing legend, and title holder of the best damn hoverboard meme on the internet.

Dressed in a homemade cardboard cutout, complete with tribal facial tattoo and on point lisp, Tristan says, “Hi, guys. I’m Mike Tyson, and today I turn 50 years old. People call me Iron Mike because I am the most ferocious, atrocious, bragadocious, delicious man alive.” He goes on to recall some of Iron Mike’s greatest moments. “One time I bit Evander Holyfield’s ear off.” Not bad, but… “And then I bit his other ear off. I tried to say I’m sorry, but he couldn’t hear me.”

And with that, Mini Mike was off to feed his pigeons, offering up a “see you later, suckers,” before backing away off stage. It was a pretty grand tribute, if you ask me. And hey! On the plus side, Mike Tyson would probably never, ever punch a child. A smarmy late night host or possibly writers for said late night host, well that’s another story.

It might not be the worst idea for Kimmel to hire a team of bodyguards for the time being, is all I’m saying.

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