This Australian Cattle Dog Trained To Fetch Beer Is A Friend We Could All Use

This guy brilliantly trained his Australian Cattle Dog, Bennet, to fetch him a beer every time he uses the simple command, “I’m parched.” Not only is this a pretty good parlor trick for a dog owner, but then, you know, you’ve got a beer.

My dog is an Australian Shepherd, a smart, similar working breed close in family to the Australian Cattle Dog, and all I can think of is how many years I’ve wasted not having my dog bring me alcoholic beverages. All that time I could have saved! Sadly, my dog turns thirteen next month, which is an age where dogs have absolutely no f*cks left to give. So at this point if I can keep her from trying to eat cigarette butts off the ground it’s a goddamn miracle.

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