This Day In Timsanity

03.21.12 6 years ago 81 Comments

Last night, Jimmy Fallon reprised his Tebowie character, which is supposedly a combination of Tim Tebow and David Bowie. It strikes me more as a standard David Bowie impression with lyrics tailored to the goings-on of Tim Tebow. Either way, people seem to enjoy it.

Yesterday on Twitter, someone created an imposter Adam Schefter account (with the hilariously fake name Adarn Schefter) to convince people that the Jaguars acquired Tim Tebow for a third-round pick. Just goes to show that, it took awhile, but rubes have glommed onto social media just as much as everyone else has.

The Washington Post’s The Early Lead blog yesterday granted space to Dan Shanoff to talk about Tim Tebow, which is never, ever a good idea. We say this as people who generally like Shanoff. The premise of the post is five reasons why Tebow to the Redskins would be super awesome and sensible. If you don’t think that’s noxious enough, here are a few notable snippets:

They have an established starter. Yes, Robert Griffin III hasn’t been drafted yet, but he comes with the full support of the organization and fan base.

If there’s one thing we know about the Tebowtards, it’s that they will aggressively push for Tebow to start over ANY quarterback, no matter how accomplished and wonderful. While ‘Skins fans like the idea of getting RGIII, he’s still a rookie and therefore vulnerable to the huge distraction that would come with the teeming Tetard horde calling for his benching the second the ‘Skins were to acquire Tebow.

They need a back-up to RG3. No, Rex Grossman doesn’t count.

Why not? The Sex Cannon is a perfectly acceptable NFL backup. That’s a shithead point to make.

And no player works harder than Tebow; he will push RG3 to reach his full potential.


A clever coach (and this includes top-of-the-league minds like Bill Belichick, Jim Harbaugh and Mike McCarthy, all of whom have been linked to acquiring Tebow) would deploy Tebow all over the field.

So why not campaign for Tebow to join one of their teams, instead of the horribly mismanaged Redskins?

And Tebow would love the D.C. area — it’s not quite a Florida homecoming, but it would put him back on the East Coast and only a 90-minute flight from home.

If by “the D.C. area”, you mean McLean Bible Church. Otherwise, you’re saying that the biggest drawing point is that it’s halfway up the same coast that Florida belongs to? Shanoff would make a killer realtor.

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