This Stolen, Life-Sized Obama Statue Was Found Enjoying A Six Pack Of Twisted Tea

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Web Culture Editor
08.25.14 2 Comments

Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania residents had been on the lookout for a stolen, life-sized statue of Obama that had disappeared from Wilkes-Barre resident Tiffany Bruce’s front porch last week. Bruce was so traumatized when the statue — which had cost her $1249 from Ashley Furniture — had gone missing that she actually suffered a panic attack and had to be admitted to the hospital. You do NOT screw with a woman’s life-sized Obama statue, people.

Fortunately, the story has a happy ending because the statue has been recovered in a nearby park, where it had been placed on a picnic bench and propped with an empty six pack of Twisted Tea and a cigarette dangling from its mouth. Because as everyone knows, one thing fake statue Obama and real Obama have in common is a love for iced tea-flavored malt beverages. [Note: Probably not true.]

Anyway, the real hero in this story is neighborhood woman Molly Williams, who was interviewed by WNEP when the statue first went missing, who oh so eloquently states at 1:30 in: “If it’s not on … if it’s not on your property you should not take it at all because it’s not yours.” They literally quoted her on this in the article accompanying the video footage. I know it’s still early — but Pulitzer nominee for local news witness reaction to presidential statues being stolen?

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Stacey lives in West Philadelphia where she enjoyed brief internet fame for live tweeting her neighbor having sex.

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