Today In An NFL-Related Post:Schottenheimer Lost In Parking Lot Fired

02.13.07 11 years ago 15 Comments

A. J. Smith has had enough of Marty Schottenheimer’s bullshit.

The Chargers GM fired his head coach after tensions boiled over regarding decisions on how Schottenheimer rebuild his staff. Smith’s suggestion to hire Ted Cottrell as his new defensive coordinator, and Schottenheimer’s reply of telling Smith to go fuck himself, seemed to be the last straw. That is, if you don’t count that choke job/reinforcement of je ne suis pas clutch in the playoffs last month. And the year before that. And, like, every year, um ever.

It seemed that Marty wanted his brother Kurt, an assistant at Kansas City, to interview for that position, among others. Smith and team president Dean Wimmer didn’t want Jeff Bowden Jay Paterno Marty’s brother joining the staff. Dean went on to explain that his vote of confidence in Schottzie the previous month was based on the assumption that the staff would not be pillaged like a Cincinnati storefront circa 2001.

We suspect Marty’s taking the news in stride, despite the fact that the firing comes rather late in this phase of the offseason. He’ll almost certainly be sitting out for 2007, probably to work on his model train set or that tomato garden he can’t stop messing around. A close relative of the former head coach shared this account, regarding Schottenheimer’s trip to a local retail outlet after cleaning out his desk yesterday afternoon:

So who’s replacing Marty? Is the answer Jesus? Cottrell? Bill Cowher, maybe? Former Cowboys coach Jimmy Johnson’s name is being mentioned, even. I’m pulling for Ron Rivera; I think he can take this team to the next level. Besides, I’m sick of seeing a black coach win the Super Bowl every year.

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