Obits: Cleveland Cavaliers Fans

12.03.10 7 years ago 29 Comments

While anticipation was high, predicting the outcome of last night’s Cavs-Heat matchup didn’t require going to far out on a ledge. As the powder went up, Cavs fans high hopes went down. Yes, they jeered and taunted LeBron throughout but their team didn’t hold up its end of the bargain. The crowd went down fighting, but still perishing and losing their plan to extract revenge on The Chosen One. To bid them farewell, our friends at Ed The Sports Fan took time to pen a wonderful obituary befitting of CavsDan and his legion of fans.

“The Cleveland Cavaliers Fanbase, 40, passed away on December 2nd, 2010. This fanbase was created in 1970 due to the passion that the Browns and Indians showed for the last 50-plus years. The Cavaliers fanbase had been a maligned group of people, as the organization they supported had been quintessentially repugnant and abhorrent save for two stretches of success in the early 1990’s (which was subsequently put on their deathbed by The Jordan) and the now critically acclaimed era of reign from the King, LeBron Raymone James. The Cavs fanbase is survived by other jilted lovers Cleveland fanbases, The Dog Pound (Browns) and The Tribe (Indians).

“A special foundation has been created in honor of Cavaliers fans, called the…well, there really isn’t a name they came up with for a foundation…they just passed the hat around and collected change, lint balls, parking stubs, bus passes, and used Carmex tubes for everyone who was laid waste to in “The LeBronaclypse.” This “passing of the hat” was created in lieu of the abomination that took place in Quicken Loans Arena in Cleveland, Ohio on Thursday night.”

The exact time of death is unknown, but it had to be late in the first quarter.

Read the full obituary @ ETSF.

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