Tony’s Day At Practice

10.02.08 9 years ago 29 Comments

Ext. Cowboys Practice Facility

Tony: …I’ve never even been to Mount Vesuvius!

[cellphone rings]

Tony: You got Romo!

Terrell: This isn’t working.

Tony: Hello? What isn’t working? Who is this?

Terrell: It’s TO, man, T-Eldorado-Fuckin’-O. Get that wax out your ears and listen up.

Tony: Hey TO, why are you calling me during practice? Aren’t you supposed to be running routes right now?

Terrell: That’s why I’m calling. I just feel like this route isn’t using me to my fullest potentiability.

Tony: And you felt the need to call my cellphone in the middle of your crossing pattern?

Terrell: I’m tellin’ you Tony, this shit ain’t funny. You got me runnin’ these bullshit routes and you don’t throw it my way anyway.

Tony: Listen, I don’t call the plays, if you have a problem with the routes then you need to talk to Jason.

Terrell: That asshole just ignores me and dogs me cause I went to Tennessee Chattanooga instead of some fancy ass school.

Tony: So what makes you think he’s going to listen to me?

Terrell: Man, you went to Eastern Illinois and shit.

Tony: Is that supposed to mean something?

Terrell: Come on man, you know that shit sounds fancy. You two can conversate on an intellectual level.

Tony: Well you know, I do conversate really good. And they do say Eastern Illinois is the Harvard of Illinois’s directional colleges.

[Jason Garret approaches]

Jason: If you two sophists are done with your heady debate we have some more drag routes to master.

[both players hang up]

[cellphone rings]

Tony: You got Romo!

Jessica: Hey Tony, I’m not sure ya’ll’re usin’ TO to his full potentiability.

[Tony hangs up]

[Cellphone rings]

Tony: You got Romo!

Donovan: Smile now, asshole.

[Tony hangs up]

Tony: Oh, fuck me. Why do I even answer this thing at practice?

[Cellphone rings]

Tony: Ooooh, my agent!

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