It’s that time of year again. Only a few more days before we tempt an angry God by eating a heart-cloggingly ridiculous quantity of dead animal flesh, sugary desserts, and salty sides, and push our own tempers to their limit by stuffing as many of our motley crew of relatives into a small space, where we will feign interest in someone’s inscrutable new job title, duck questions about our own jobs and love life, grimace through a forced conversation about that totally true thing your cousin saw on Facebook, and drink. So much drinking. I’m the drunk uncle now. This is my life. This is fine.
On Sunday night, Twitter was already ahead of the curve on lamenting the upcoming festivities by describing Holiday Dinner In 3 Words. We can probably add some of our own three word descriptions, such as, “Oops, grandma’s racist”, ALL THE HAM, “never enough vodka”, paranoid email forwards, “Is it over?”, I’ll miss Joe, “Kill me now”, and — of course –“Who wants seconds?”