Vince Young Is Also Smart With Money Management

09.19.12 5 years ago 44 Comments

Over the off-season, Vince Young signed a free agent contract with the Bills to serve as the back-up to Ryan Fitzpatrick, but VY was let go just prior to opening weekend when the team traded for his quarterbacking clone, Tarvaris Jackson. While certainly disappointing, Vince Young still reaped the riches of being a high draft pick in the days before the rookie salary cap was imposed. If nothing else, he should be able to coast on that for a while.

Haha, just kidding. Vince Young is bordering on bankruptcy for the usual athlete reasons. Good chance he’ll assume Pacman Jones’ place as the cautionary tale speaker at next year’s rookie symposium. So wha’ happened?

Six years after entering the NFL as the third player taken in the draft, Vince Young finds himself without a team and with only a fraction of the money he received from a contract that guaranteed him $26 million.

The question is, where did it all go?

In an increasingly caustic war of words, attorneys have been arguing for months over whether Young is an out-of-control spender who put himself deeply in the hole or simply a victim of inexperienced advisers, one of whom was his own uncle.

Wow, this sounds like a knotty financial conundrum. Surely, VY’s trusted advisers have a solution in place.

“I would just say that Vince needs a job,” said Trey Dolezal, Young’s attorney, when asked to give a general assessment of his client’s finances.

Like I said. They got this handled.

Okay, so maybe VY doesn’t quite have the nestegg that he should at this point in his life. That doesn’t mean all is lost. After all, this is America. You’re only as limited as your capacity for hard work, skin color, gender, class and educational background dictate. There are endless possibilities for VY to make money. Here are but a few:

2011 Eagles Dream Team reunion appearance fees

Invest in tearaway t-shirts. You know, for the clubs.

Vince Young knows about suicide. People are tired of not paying for suicide prevention hotlines. They want counseling for INSIDERS.

Eat residual product from Vince Young Sausage line. Sausage is brain food.

Professional test taker

Scab referee

Person who twirls signs on the street outside new condo complexes (fired for weird sidearm motion)

Tarvaris Jackson impersonator

Create energy drink called XXXugarWater

Wipe away debt with… what else? A towel!

Gold farming for Diablo 3

Sue the NFL like everyone else.

Go back to UT.

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