It didn’t have to end this way. The “white male in his 20s, about 5 feet 11 inches tall and 150 pounds” shouldn’t have gotten away with stealing a 32-inch LCD TV on his “getaway vehicle [with] brown in color and had orange-yellow wheels” at Target. He could have fallen off his skateboard, or the Target employee who noticed what was going on could have tried a little harder to get in the guy’s way. (Not that I would have handled it any differently — “But he could run over my foot with his skateboard! I’m going to prevent that risk by doing nothing.”) Instead, everything worked perfectly, and the “white male” is enjoying some Al Roker on his new TV as we speak. The perfect crime.