Welcome To Perfectville. Population: Jackass

02.05.08 10 years ago 34 Comments

Fuck you, Mercury Morris. You can eat a bag of dicks. I think we were all pleased to see the Patriots go down. But YOU, you mediocre piece of shit, you are hereby ordered to pipe the fuck down with your pre-written sound bytes about how you were the best ever.

Know why? Because not only would the 2007 Patriots STILL beat your ass, so would the 2007 Giants.

And, come to think of it, so would the 2007 Dolphins. Yep, I’m quite sure the 2007 Dolphins would wad you up and shit you out like a hot turd. Did your linemen average 300 lbs.? Did your coaches study hours of tape and map out tendencies? Did your receivers do any speed training? Did the ’72 Dolphins have access to creatine and lots of Hammer strength equipment? No?


I’m quite sure Cleo Lemon would have a field day with your stupid fucking team. Playing your team today would be like playing a goddamn NAIA team. So shut your piehole and find a place to die quietly. No one cares about how good your team was. Everyone thinks you’re a fucking douche. EUGENE.

Nice glasses, fuckface.

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