What Do You Mean, I Can’t Call Two Timeouts?

12.02.07 10 years ago 25 Comments

What do you mean, I can’t have walk-on players?

What do you mean, the center isn’t an eligible receiver?

What do you mean, there’s no extra points for loving Jesus?

What do you mean, the clock doesn’t stop after a first down?

What do you mean, I don’t always have to go for two? Odd numbers are bad juju!

What do you mean, Beathard’s not here to get me a damn guard anymore?

What do you mean, there’s a play clock? I need to talk this tricky 2nd and 6 over with Bugel and the gang!

What do you mean, they’re allowed to study videotape of us?

What do you mean, there’s a salary cap?

What do you mean, I can’t suit up this Kenyan elephant?

What do you mean, I can’t use that player I left out on the first play for a 12-man play later on?

What do you mean, I can’t throw this red hankie any time I want?

What do you mean, I can’t send ol’ Ricky Ervins out there?

What do you mean, my players can’t play while chock full of cocaine anymore?

What do you mean, parity?

What do you mean, time has passed me by?

What do you mean, I’m not good anymore?

What do you mean, “You fucking suck, Gibbs!”?

Well, that’s not what I was told.

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