As you may have heard, love died late yesterday when news broke that Twitter power couple Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher were calling it quits.
“It is with great sadness and a heavy heart that I have decided to end my six-year marriage to Ashton,” Moore said in a statement. “As a woman, a mother and a wife there are certain values and vows that I hold sacred, and it is in this spirit that I have chosen to move forward with my life. This is a trying time for me and my family, and so I would ask for the same compassion and privacy that you would give to anyone going through a similar situation.”
Now we suppose that Demi will be looking for a new Twitter handle since her present one — @MrsKutcher — is no longer, um, accurate. This occasion is a perfect time to remind you all that it’s NEVER a good idea to select a Twitter handle, or a tattoo, that’s tied to a relationship or a job or anything else that has the potential of coming to an end before you die! Some people learn these things the hard way, I suppose.
So what should Demi’s new Twitter handle be?
@69SuperCougarMilf69?
@DICKSDICKSDICKS?
@Ashtonwearsfootiepajamas?
I kinda like @DICKSDICKSDICKS.