White History Month – Bill Romanowski

07.17.13 4 years ago 26 Comments


Today in White History we’re looking at the legend of Bill Romanowski who didnt miss a game for 15 years at MLB, played in 5 Superbowls, won 4, ended only a handful of careers, and was just a all-around hoot.

Probably the most ass-damn tough-as-hell SOB to patrol between the numbers, Romocop is the textbook example of a Middle Linebacker except that textbook is “Synthetic Chemistry 101”. Since he played a position traditionally dominated by more ethnic and ethical players, he needed to get a leg up somehow so he could piss out pure liver enzymes on them. Romo actually never failed a drug test BTW and theres reason to believe he never did steroids at all: A SI Rick Reilly expose of Romanowski in 2003 (“Health Nut” LMAO) talked about how he didn’t miss a single game for his entire 15 year career, discussed his suitcase of 500 vitamins, detailed how he would send pieces of his actual turds to labs for analysis, how he’d eat sharks for lunch and scream at teammates like a gorilla in heat if they spilled his pills- and it didn’t even once single time mention steroids at all. Thats good enough for me folks.

Now that his playing days are done, Romanowskis got his finger in more pies then Herman Cain. Hes been a actor in The Longest Yard, Benchwarmers, and Get Smart with some of Hollywoods finest which is ironic because 7 degrees of seperation was the exact diagnosis on his teammate Marcus Williamses orbital bone. Bill’s also on the cover of Blitz: The League along with Lawrence Taylor as Taylors buddy Bruno Battaglia who tries to talk him about of buying all those lottery tickets or rape or whatever.

Bill’s on-the-field antics gave him a reputation over the years. He was accused of hocking a loogie on JJ Stokes when everyone knows he was trying to give him a demonstration between “The Cream and The Clear”. He did what two dozen years of Wild Turkey, Copenhagen longcut, and passing out on horseback couldnt do and broke Kerry Collins jaw. And he threw a football at Bryan Cox that hit him in the groin which you can go ahead and file under the “broad side of a barn” category. But this was all part of the legend of Wild Bill, a guy who pooped firewood and jizzed tadpoles folks. Hes truly a modern day Paul Bunyon with his trusty big blue pancreas always at his side.

Head Coaching Career

When the Broncos were searching for a new coach after firing Mike Shanahan, Romanowski actually sent in a 30 page powerpoint presentation outlining how hed turn the franchise around as Head Coach. Aside from the 11 page process that showed how he would engineer there defense to be a Jose Canseco and Henry Rollins Voltron-BroncoHorse, all you need to know about the document is that it made the owner of a professional football team say “No thank’s I’d rather have Josh McDaniels.”

All that said Romocop went out at .25 RPYs which you have to take your hat off to, and now hes CEO of a supplement company that is 100% safe for everyone to use on a regular basis definitely. God bless Bill, thanks for all you’ve done!

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