Who’s Been Screwing With The Haley’s Computer?!

10.28.10 7 years ago 29 Comments

(Camaro door flies open)

Haley: Well, well, well. Another day in the can for the 4-2 Kansas City Chiefs. Let’s see that blood sausage Whitlock complain about what The Pioli and The Haley are building here with our OWN BARE HANDS. Any of you ready to question The Haley anymore? YOU?

Matt Cassel: No, sir.

Haley: YOU?

Jamaal Charles: No.

Haley: No, WHAT?

Jamaal Charles: No, sir.

Haley: I don’t like the way you hesitated there, Charles. You got a problem with me?

Jamaal Charles: No, sir.

Haley: CAUSE THAT’S THE DOOR. YOU DON’T WANT TO BE PART OF THIS PROGRAM, THAT IS THE FUCKING DOOR. What, you think taking carries away from you was a bad idea? NUMBER FUCKING ONE IN RUSHING, KIDS. NUMBER FUCKING ONE. You think that’s an accident? You telling me my sister is a whore?

Jamaal Charles: What?


Jamaal Charles: What?!

Haley: I DON’T SEE YOU DENYING IT. You got a real fucking attitude problem, young man. You keep it up. Plenty of guys here willing to take your job. Ask Larry Johnson and his bastard kids if we do things the easy way here. I want all of you doing sprints until you learn the Haley Way. YOU HAVEN’T DONE JACK SHIT YET, FAR AS I’M CONCERNED.

Now, lemme just turn on my computer. I got some goal line passes that’ll make all of you look better than you are.

(turns on computer)


WHO’S BEEN FUCKING WITH THE HALEY’S COMPUTER? I see someone thinks they’re bigger than this program. FUCKING SPEAK UP. Every five minutes that goes without a confession, I cut a starter. Clock starts now.

Jamaal Charles: But we haven’t touched your computer.

Haley: (rips off Oakleys) YOU CALLING ME A FAGGOT?

Jamaal Charles: WHAT?!

(Meanwhile, in Buffalo)

5CHAN: +1 to fucking 5CHAN, bitchezzzzzz.

Rumguzzler: O SHT! Fckn LULZZ.

5CHAN: You fire the fucking 5CHAN before training camp, you sign ur own death sentence. Wait till his cunt wife opens up those Tubgirl pics.

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