Culinary sadist Spilly sent me this image, absent of context. So many questions, might as well not waste time and get to ’em.
2. For the love of God, why?
3. Okay, perhaps that’s too broad. Why is this person in a furry wolf costume with a Haloti Ngata jersey on top of it?
4. Is that a wolf costume? Or a coyote? Is it a husky? Husky has bad connotations, so I’m sticking with wolf.
5. Is this intended as a gag on Ngata? After all, pretty sure that costume might not even be as hairy as Haloti Ngata.
6. Is that a crotch flap in the front? Please don’t let that be a crotch flap.
7. It is a crotch flap, isn’t it? OH NO, GIANT WOLFY PEEN READY TO PENETRATE THE BACKFIELD.
8. How much would Roger Goodell fine a furry wolf Haloti Ngata for not wearing pants? He’s not a first-time offender, so I’m saying $75,000.
9. Do you think furry wolf Haloti Ngata could appeal the fine on the grounds that wolves don’t wear pants and the NFL is discriminating against his kind?
10. There’s a prominent furry convention that takes place each year in Pittsburgh. Could this person be trolling fetish community yinzers?
11. Since it’s in Pittsburgh, does simply attending a fetish convention imply that one is DTF? Important point for Roethlisberger.
12. Could this person be trolling fetish community Chiefs fans? That team has a wolf mascot. Does that count?
13. Why would this person want to troll other members of the furry community? They seem ostracized enough as it is. Wouldn’t they want to band together?
14. Okay, but band together figuratively?
15. Once again, whhhhhyyyyyyyy?