“The boy that I was in love with in high school has a girlfriend.” Now there’s a warning sign of a sentence if I’ve ever read one. Unless you married your high school sweetie, you’ve probably said it — or a gender-flipped version — before. Thankfully, no one was recording you. Unlike Marian Bull, 27, whose roommate documented the entire grieving process for our enjoyment.
She doesn’t seem to mind, either. Marian’s too busy studying her would-be flame’s hot new girlfriend, who, she confesses, is a “really nice person.” That’s a congenial way of saying, I hate her so, so, so, so much (my words), or “it’s like her skin is made of silk and it has little sun rays woven into it” and “she’s a model, and I’m just sitting here in my shitty apartment” (her words).
Once the video went viral, Marian said, “I think I was a little less in love with him in high school than the video makes me out to be,” adding, “Jealously is a normal human emotion, but I’m sure she’s a really lovely person.”
A really lovely person… who kicks newborn puppies for fun, I bet.