How Syfy didn’t come up with a movie about zombified beavers feasting on the flesh of nubile young co-eds is beyond belief. I expect nothing short of at least one cunnilingus joke every 15 minutes throughout the movie. And if zombie beavers weren’t enticing enough for you, the film’s IMDB page says that Bill Burr is going to be in the movie. I look forward to watching Burr’s next appearance on Conan where he rips the film to shreds with the comedic ferocity of (ready for it?) a zombeaver.
In addition to Burr being in the movie, there will also be the female victims of the zombeavers to watch (and then later Google Image Search). To save you a bit of time, I’ve rattled off some “must know” facts for the ladies of Zombeavers.
Courtney Palm playing the role of Zoe
You probably missed Colorado-born actress Cortney Palm in her role of “party guest” in Superbad, but since then the 27-year-old has gone on to star in the straight-to-DVD thriller Sushi Girl with Mark Hamill. In addition to dishing out oral sex zingers in Zombeavers, she also appeared in a horror movie called Silent Night, which gave us this delightful little GIF.
Rachel Melvin playing the role of Mary
From the trailer, Rachel Melvin appears to have been cast as the good girl of the group, so we can probably assume she escapes the beaver’s wrath. She also has the most diverse acting resume of the beaver girls — that’s what I’ve dubbed them — with recurring roles on Heroes and Days Of Our Lives. Later this year she’ll appear in the highly anticipated Dumb And Dumber To.
Lexi Atkins playing the role of Jenn
There’s not a whole lot of information out there on Lexi Atkins, Zombeavers is only her second movie in addition to a very indie comedy called White Dwarf. The 20-year-old is probably best known in the state of Illinois for being this year’s title holder of the Miss Illinois crown. Win a beauty pageant, get cast in a campy movie about undead rodents — sometimes life just works out perfectly.