Brown University Newspaper Writes Very Earnest Apology To Malia Obama

Malia Obama
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Last week, Brown University students basically ensured that Malia Obama won’t be matriculating at their school next year by tweeting and possibly sending The Daily Caller (really, guys?) a photo of her maybe/maybe not playing beer pong at a party on their campus. Now,the editorial board of The Brown Daily Herald has decided to demonstrate how much chill they do have, by writing an open apology to the First Daughter.

The apology is actually pretty nice and earnest, lamenting how stressful it must be for Obama to tour colleges while the media breathlessly reports about it. They also criticize students for not having the decency to let her enjoy her tour with some privacy:

It is a shame that Malia was unable to visit Brown and enjoy herself at a party without several news headlines coming out about it the next day. While it is understandable that so many students were excited about her visit, it is likely that few of us would enjoy having strangers take pictures of us while we were unaware and post them on the Internet.

Here’s the closing paragraph that gives Brown’s thirst away, though:

Malia did not choose to grow up in the White House, and it is unfair that everything she does at just 17 years old is subject to such harsh scrutiny. While the chances of her selecting Brown have probably decreased since the publication of those articles, if she does ever come back to Brown, hopefully next time we will “have more chill.”

Brown students totally understand if you never want to go back there again. They’re totally not secretly hoping that you decide to go to Brown, anyway. NBD, really.

I can’t wait for the Tufts Daily op-ed swearing that they would never do this to Malia, no matter how drunk she got at Spring Fling.

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