Charlie Sheen Is Super Sorry For Ruining ‘Two And A Half Men,’ Everybody

Seven months after his November 2015 appearance in which he revealed to the world that he had been diagnosed as HIV positiveCharlie Sheen returned to the Today show on Tuesday morning for another sit down with Matt Lauer. A seemingly much more introspective Sheen (than we’ve seen in the past) described coming out with his diagnosis on live TV as “being released from prison” and credits his interview with Lauer as “unearthing the stepping stones to a Rubicon of change.” Soooo, okay! Maybe more introspective but also still with a healthy amount of that old Sheen delusion we’ve come to know and love.

That didn’t stop Lauer from grilling Sheen regarding claims that he had engaged in sexual intercourse with women without informing them of his status, whether using protection or not. To that point, Sheen had a bit of a confusing answer: basically, he had not revealed his status to his sexual partners on two occasions, but only because he didn’t want to get “shaken down” for money.

But perhaps the most revealing part of the interview came when Lauer recalled an old quote of Sheen’s about not living in “regretville,” asking him if he regrets anything now.

Um, I regret not using a condom one or two times when this whole thing happened, you know. Yeah, I regret ruining Two and a Half Men. I regret not being more involved in my children’s lives growing up, which I am now. That’s about the only things.

If those aren’t the most random three sentences to appear back to back, we don’t know what is. Aside from the fact that he equates contracting HIV and abandoning his children to getting fired from a TV show, it’s like he denies the great Kutcher renaissance even happened.