Culture

Donald Trump’s Foreign Policy Advisers Only Include His Own ‘Very Good Brain’

Donald Trump Holds Campaign Rally In NC One Day Ahead Of Primary
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After Chris Christie’s recent insertion into the Donald Trump posse, folks have wondered what the hell is going on, but the more important concern is what position he will hold in a Trump administration. Will Trump elevate him to full-on running-mate status, or would Christie take a position like Secretary of State? Christie fancies himself an expert on foreign policy, though he’s liable to make mop jokes in a moment of crisis.

For now, Trump’s relying on himself for expert foreign-policy advice, and this may frighten those who don’t want Trump’s tiny hands on the red button. Trump also appears to be having memory trouble, as he clearly denied offering to pay legal fees for a supporter who sucker-punched a protester. He’s either lying or losing his mind, but Trump says his brain is in good enough shape to handle global concerns. Speaking on Morning Joe, Trump revealed his winning approach, and it’s gonna be fine because he predicted the rise of Osama Bin Laden:

“I’m speaking with myself, number one, because I have a very good brain, and I’ve said a lot of things … so I know what I’m doing and I listen to a lot of people, I talk to a lot of people and at the appropriate time I’ll tell you who the people are … But my primary consultant is myself and I have a good instinct for this stuff.”

Trump’s butler recently revealed that the reality star and Republican frontrunner does his own hair, and we’ve seen how well that turned out. He’s capable of messing up our own country, which would honestly be our own fault (for not stopping him), but Trump could work unspeakable damage on a global level. He’s a businessman and proud negotiator, but those skills will have no effect when it comes to the Middle East or North Korea.

Here’s the Morning Joe clip where Trump also denies being a neoisolationist. He then preaches about how no one realizes how expensive war is, and he thinks maybe Vladmir Putin will tame himself after he spends too much money. Because everything is about money with Trump.

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