Donald Trump enjoyed the Super Tuesday Sequel while claiming three states and landing a Missouri virtual tie with Ted Cruz. Trump seemed fine with a not-unexpected Ohio loss to Gov. John Kasich, who will keep trucking after winning one freaking state. Whereas Marco Rubio suspended his campaign after being trounced by Trump in his home state of Florida. The sad senator delivered one wry drop of shade during his speech, but he kept things classy and congratulated Trump for metaphorically body-slamming him.
In response, the reality star delivered a blustery self-tribute with brief mention of Little Marco, who will have a fine future, according to Trump. This is probably true, but Rubio admitted he couldn’t think past Tuesday, so the guy needed time to recover without head pats or further insults. He received the latter, first by being used as a pawn in Ted Cruz’s weird non-victory speech. Cruz acted like he won every state and congratulated himself on gathering delegates while marching to the White House. He said weird crap such as “Hillary tosses and turns in her jail cell… thinking about her” before landing at “Marco’s passion inspires me.” He creeped on Rubio voters: “We welcome you with open arms.”
As if that wasn’t enough sliminess for one evening, Rubio received a final slam — which spawned a collective internet “daaaamn” — from Trump in the form of a ruthless tweet. Trump posted a brief clip from one of Rubio’s still-bullish Florida speeches: “I believe with all my heart that the winner of the Florida primary will be the nominee of the Republican party.” Then came the caption: “Thank you, Marco. I agree!”
Needless to say, jaws immediately fell to keyboards. This slam was both premeditated and brutal even by Trump’s standards.
Luckily, someone posted this gem, as well. God bless the internet.