Culture

Jimmy Kimmel Drops A Fiery Monologue About Roy Moore: ‘There Is No One I Would Love To Fight More Than You’

While Jimmy Kimmel seemed to be playfully responding to Roy Moore on Twitter earlier in the day, his monologue to kick off his show was quite different. Moore called out Kimmel in response to a prank that sent “Jake Byrd” to a recent campaign event in Alabama, telling him to come mock him “man to man.” For Kimmel, those were clearly fighting words and the host said he would love to either interview, mock, or literally spar with the GOP candidate. First Kimmel accepted the invitation from Moore and laid out how thinks it should go down while explaining his own Christian values to the Alabama candidate for Senate:

“I accept the invitation. I will come down there. What I’m going to do is, and I think you’re actually going to like this, Roy. I’m going to come down to Alabama with a team of high school cheerleaders…we’ll meet you at the mall, don’t worry, I can get you in. And if, when the girls and I show up, if you can control yourself and behave. If you can somehow manage to keep Little Roy in your little cowboy pants when those nubile young cheerleaders come bounding in, you and I will sit down at the food court, we’ll have a little Panda Express and we’ll talk about Christian values…

“If you’re open to it, I’ll share with you what I learned at my church. At my church, forcing yourself on underage girls is a no-no, some even consider it to be a sin. Not that you did that, of course…allegedly.”

But then he addresses the idea of “man to man” actually meaning Moore wants to fight. While this seems ridiculous at first, Kimmel is not afraid and seems to have a good idea for that too:

“Or maybe when you say come down to Alabama and we’ll do it man to man, maybe that means you’re challenging me to fight. Which is kinda what it sounds like. And if you are, I accept by the way. I accept that invitation. There is no one I would love to fight more than you. I would put my Christian values aside just for you and that fight. So if you are challenging me to a fight, here’s what we’ll do. Let’s find a place to do it, I’ll wear a girl scout uniform so you can have something to get excited about. And the winner, whoever wins the fight, will give all the money we charge for the tickets to charity. My charity will be the women who came forward to say you molested them.”

He then adds that if Moore “went man to man instead of man to little girl” he wouldn’t be in the current situation. Kimmel then makes fun of Moore’s pistol-packing ways and makes a plea to Alabama not to elect him in a few weeks.

After some commercials, Kimmel airs the “Jake Byrd” segment in its entirety, showing Tony Barbieri interacting with some Moore supporters and then interrupting the church event with his overwhelming support.

(Via Jimmy Kimmel Live)

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