Rapture Actually In October, Claims Profiteering Rapture Fetishist

Hey remember how the world was supposed to end with the Rapture this past weekend, only it didn’t? Well, the guy who was sort of behind the whole thing, doomday preacher Harold Camping, is now claiming that his calculations were just a wee bit off, and the end of the world will actually happen in October of this year, on Kim Kardashian’s birthday no less. Yeah.

“I can tell you very candidly that when May 21 came and went it was a very difficult time for me, a very difficult time,” Camping told his flock on the radio yesterday. “I was truly wondering what is going on. In my mind, I went back through all of the promises God has made, all of the proofs, all of the signs and everything was fitting perfectly, so what in the world happened? I really was praying and praying and praying, oh Lord, what happened?”

Reports the New York Times:

What he decided, apparently, was that May 21 had been “an invisible judgment day,” of the spiritual variety, rather than his original vision of earthquakes and other disasters leading to five months of hell on earth, culminating in a spectacular doomsday on Oct. 21 — something he had repeatedly guaranteed. On Monday, however, Mr. Camping seemed satisfied with his new interpretation, which apparently spared humankind its months of torture for a single day of destruction.

But his shifting soothsaying led to a barrage of questions from reporters, something Mr. Camping seemed to wave off with a wan smile and occasional flashes of emotion.

“The world has been warned,” said Mr. Camping, who said this would be his last interview. He added that his company — which had bought billboard space nationwide to promote the May 21 date — would not promote his new prediction, Oct. 21.

“We don’t have to talk about this anymore,” he said.

So y’all don’t ask any questions and go ahead and continue to send Harold Camping your hard-earned money so he can keep getting rich peddling this nonsense (According to CNN, he took in over $80 million in donations between 2005 and 2009). Surely his calculations are right on the nose this time.

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