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What The Heck Did Ted Cruz Need With 100 Cans Of Campbell’s Chunky Soup?

CNN held a town hall Wednesday night with Ted and Heidi Cruz, which among other things, provided another fascinating glimpse into the union of the Texas senator and his wife. Namely, that Cruz’s marriage to Heidi was preceded by his love affair with canned soup. Heidi relayed a story which, looking back, must have been the beginning of her personal hell.

She says that the first thing her husband did after they arrived at their apartment following their honeymoon (because obviously they were not cohabitating before marriage like a couple of gosh darn sinners) was to go out to the store and buy 100 cans of soup. And not just any soup, mind you, but Campbell’s Chunky. Although Cruz is quick to point out that they were different kinds, saying: “You’ve gotta have some chicken, some beef…” lest anyone think he was some kind of same-soup loving maniac.

But things only get more troubling from there, as Heidi details her perfectly reasonable reaction to finding out that her new husband was a soup weirdo:

So the next morning, it was a weekend morning, I loaded up our car before he woke up and returned every single can. And when I got home, I called my mother just to make sure I’d done the right thing as a newlywed. And she emphatically disagreed with me. And so when Ted opened the pantry, I had to quickly tell him that I would go back and buy those cans again.

It’s with any hope that Ted Cruz’s eventual crushing defeat will come even 1/100ths close to what Heidi felt like having to buy back all that soup.

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