This Drunk Cop Totally Bit A Guy In The Balls Last Night

Meet Michael Flaig, an upstanding Maryland cop who’s facing second-degree assault charges because he and another dude beat up a man who asked them to stop touching his female friend while at a local bar. Oh yeah, Flaig also bit the unidentified victim right in the nuts, because no one puts baby in a corner! (Or asks a grown man to stop harassing women.)

WBAL reports that police were called and found Flaig in the bar, drunk and covered in blood:

According to the charging documents, police said Michael Flaig, 31, was found on the second floor of the bar with blood stains on his shirt and appeared inebriated.

“Mr. Flaig had blood shot eyes, slurred words and a strong odor of (alcohol) coming from his person,” charging documents stated.

As Death and Taxes points out, it’s likely that that blood all over his shirt was ball blood. What no one’s explained yet, however, is how exactly Flaig got near enough someone’s testicles to bite them. What kind of position was he fighting from?

Flaig’s accomplice is still on the loose, but hopefully not biting anyone in the genitals.

Sources: WBAL, Death and Taxes

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