Ben Wallace’s New Offense; Kobe Bryant Closes in on Europe

09.30.11 8 years ago 21 Comments

Ben Wallace had a greater offense this weekend than Tom Brady. On Saturday night, he was reportedly booked on drunken driving charges as well as for the unlawful carrying of a concealed weapon. The police didn’t release his blood alcohol level and Big Ben will be back in court on Oct. 3. The pistol is something we can’t defend, and neither is the driving. But drinking (Wallace says he had four beers) is what happens when you’re part of an organization that seems intent on making itself the most dysfunctional group in all of sports. All of those players seemed like they were wound-up soldiers ready to pop at any second because of the frustration. We can only imagine the amount of stress they were under this year. For his part, Wallace says he was driving from Virginia to Michigan and just forgot that the gun – registered to his wife – was in a backpack in his backseat … Will he or won’t he? That’s the question that’s been shadowing Kobe Bryant everywhere this summer. He’s flirted voraciously with teams in Turkey and now Italy, but will he actually step up and set up the date? At this point, we only have his words, and they could be real or just playful. Some believe he will play because that’s what Kobe does: he plays. Screw any consequences. Kobe has always been about “doing” rather than “watching”. It’ll be interesting in these next few days to see what happens. Derek Fisher says Kobe is always in his ear about the lockout, so would Fish get on Kobe if he bolted? … Remember back when Kobe was a rapper? We do, and it wasn’t pretty … There was some crazy feedback because of an email we posted yesterday from some guy who alleges he had dinner with a former Bulls assistant, Johnny Bach. There are some Jerry Krause stories in there, as well as what supposedly made Michael Jordan a better defender than Scottie Pippen. There was classic material though between MJ and Muggsy Bogues. One time Bogues had the ball at the end of the game and Mike spike out something so ruthless that it nearly destroyed the lil’ man’s career … Speaking of Bogues, the former 5-3 point guard says he never dunked in a basketball game, but that he could dunk a volleyball. We always assumed he could dunk, and the same goes for anyone who makes it to the NBA. We have these arguments in the office all the time: who can dunk and who can’t (which is like nobody). We actually find that there are a lot of people out there who think some NBA players either can’t dunk or can’t do it consistently. How do y’all feel about a dude like Steve Nash? There are people out there that will tell you they don’t think he can do it consistently because he never did it in games … Some pretty cool stats here from last season on dunks and layups. According to this formula, no one dunked as often (dunks per 100 possessions) as DeAndre Jordan last year. The top 17 on that list are all big men until you get to Andre Iguodala, who dunked 2.28 times per 100 possessions. Out of all the players who never dunked last season, one name sticks out: DeShawn Stevenson. That’s not because he’s a beast or an athletic marvel, but remember when he was in high school? Dude could fly. He’s not THAT old. For the top five layup rates, of course Tony Parker, Carmelo Anthony, Russell Westbrook and Derrick Rose are in there. But none other than Leandro Barbosa sits at the top with 9.63 per 100 possessions … Someone leaked the intro to NBA 2K12. It feels like they’re mimicking the ABC NBA Finals intro … And David Stern is saying today and into the weekend will decide whether there’s a season or not. We know he’s using scare tactics, but still, this weekend is incredibly important. This is probably the last chance to save the start of the season. If it doesn’t happen know, we are almost assuredly missing time. Hopefully today, we all get some good news … We’re out like DeShawn’s hops.

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