Unlike Kevin Durant, NBA Free Agents Should Get Much Weirder With Future Decision Announcements

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Kevin Durant announced through Adrian Wojnarowski’s tweets that he planned to announce his free agency decision through the Instagram account of his business venture, Boardroom. In a post-Decision world, this was especially shrewd — as the follower count of said Instagram account skyrocketed in the wake of the Woj Bomb befor the real bomb.

But Wojnarowski found out where Durant was going before his 6 p.m. Instadecision and tweeted it to the masses, which sparked a round of conforming reports and sort of ruined the surprise anyway. Still, Durant is the latest major free agent to eschew the normal scuttlebutt that comes with sports personnel decisions and use his own platform to announce big news. And though an Instagram decision is a far cry from a TV show on ESPN, it does double as a great marketing opportunity for something Durant wants to see grow.

When Durant did announce his move via The Boardroom, it was with a simple graphic with a Notorious B.I.G. song playing over the 20-second clip.

After all the hype about the announcement, even with it spoiled by Wojnarowski’s scoop, it was oddly deflating that this was all The Boardroom could come up with. There was no video of Durant, no personal message, not even a montage. Hell, even his new teammate Kyrie Irving had an agency-approved montage video.

And then there was Irving opening his Third Eye on Instagram with a cryptic message.

In other words, this was clearly an opportunity lost, and one a future free agent should rightfully take advantage of. It seems inevitable that other free agents try to do what Durant almost, sort of pulled off. And so here is an incomplete list of ways free agents should make their decision known to the world in the future.

Ideally, a second tier player should do this to make the most out of the pomp and circumstance the moment affords because simply having their agent text an NBA reporter and letting them tweet it out isn’t fun at all. It would also be a great way to get a little extra scratch out of the deal if the proper #brand partner can be found.

  • Announce it on an obscure TV channel, perhaps to bring it back to life with a new concept.

  • Announce it on The Eric Andre Show while he uses a fire extinguisher on you shouting “THE NEWS IS TOO HOT.”
  • Hire a skywriter and announce it over an interleague baseball game
  • Partner with Quiznos to name a sandwich after you available in that team’s market only.
  • Shout it from a bullhorn while riding a Red Bull Flugtag vehicle into a foreign ocean.
  • A Black Mirror: Bandersnatch-like choose your own adventure interactive TV episode where you somehow, always, frustratingly end up alone on the Knicks.
  • You announce it ‘live’ on Hulu, which then reminds you that it has ‘live’ sports.
  • A scavenger hunt
  • Punxsutawney Phil works one day a year? Not anymore, he doesn’t.

That’s certainly enough to get someone on this list started, and some aspiring brands out there will surely jump on this idea come next season. Let’s get weird, 2020 UFA class.