One of the greatest promotions in any sports arena today is the United Center’s ongoing deal with fans that if the Chicago Bulls score at least 100 points at home, everyone in attendance gets a voucher for a free Big Mac. It’s the kind of giveaway that makes one proud to be an American, for what’s more American than free food? Free fast food, that’s what.
On Monday night, the Bulls cut it close, beating the Milwaukee Bucks 100-90, needing E’Twaun Moore to hit two free throws with less than 20 seconds left to get everyone a burger — including the extremely hyped kid above.
Put yourself in that kid’s shoes. If you need to, close your eyes and try to transport yourself back to your childhood. (Well, don’t actually close your eyes because you need to keep reading to find out where I’m going with this.) Even if you’re a huge Bulls fan, they already have the game in hand. You’re a child at a sporting event, which means even if you’ve had two hot dogs, nachos and 96 ounces of soda, you’re still ravenously hungry. What’s more, the McDonald’s closest to your house has a sick playpen, and your parents want you to stay healthy, so you haven’t been back in months. When E’Twaun Moore hits that second free throw, it all becomes real.
You’re going back to Mickey D’s, you’re gonna own that jungle gym, you’re gonna eat a Big Mac in under 90 seconds before returning to the jungle gym, and there’s nothing your parents can do to stop you — the damn Big Mac is free, after all. It’s good to be a kid.