Carl Landry To The Warriors; Nate Robinson Will Sign With Chicago

Someone finally picked up Carl Landry. We weren’t sure what was taking so long, and why one of the stupidest front offices in the league (Charlotte) appeared to be the only team going after Landry. But at least the wait is over. Landry was considered the best unrestricted free agent still available, and despite that, he’s signing a very modest deal for two years and $8 million with Golden State. The second year is a player option, which means the power forward will almost assuredly opt out next summer to test his luck again (something Jamal Crawford did recently, and cashed in this summer with the Clippers). Golden State doesn’t have a playoff team. They’ll be improved, and are going to rain Hell from the perimeter with Harrison Barnes, Stephen Curry and Klay Thompson, but won’t be quite good enough to crack the second season. Still, this is an awesome signing for them as Landry is just a dude who always plays hard, and always plays unselfishly. You can always use more people like that … One other move for Golden State yesterday: they signed Draymond Green to a three-year, $2.6 million deal (team option on third season) after he impressed them in summer league … Deron Williams spewed off at the mouth recently about how the balls being used in the Olympics are pretty slippery and are causing a bit of an adjustment for Team USA. That’s funny – we feel like we haven’t seen D-Will miss a shot yet. The team is also complaining about the arena, which sports about 20 feet between the court and the stands. If we were these guys, we’d actually be happy about the extra space. We wouldn’t be trying to get too close to some of these fans. Have you seen these dudes? We’ve already seen a guy who looked like a 400-pound Joker, and another who obviously did not glance in the mirror before going out, his face all types of random colors, one of those ridiculous fake afros and an outfit that looked like a female bathing suit from the 1940s. And that was in an Argentina versus Lithuania matchup where both teams are basically playing for a bronze. Imagine how they might act against the U.S.? … Will the dimensions actually have an effect on the team’s play? We’re not sure. With small ball, we’re counting on the jumper more than ever before. The team better hope we win gold, or if we lose, that it’s not because we have one of those nights where no one can make a shot (it could definitely happen against Spain) and the basket seems to swallow everything and spit it back out. Remember when the Lakers lost that regular season game against Miami and Kobe decided he’d impress the media, and come back out after the game and shoot jumpers until they kicked him out? With a loss in the Olympics, Bryant might just stay over in the gym in London and not come back until the start of the NBA season … Speaking of the Lakers, it sounds like they’re bringing Eddie Jordan in as an assistant coach because they have a couple of big fans of his work with the Princeton offense. Yahoo! Sports reports Mike Brown is interested, as is Kobe, and the latter truly believes this system – which incorporates a lot of high post action and a ton of passing – would be absolutely perfect for the Black Swan. Pau Gasol has taken some heat the past few seasons, but he HAS to be looking forward to next season. Not only will he have an offense that lets him do something other than stand 15 feet from the rim and catch bailout passes from Bryant, but he also has Steve Nash to get him open looks for 35 minutes a night, and hopefully overtake him for the worst hair on the team … Keep reading to hear about an under-the-radar Clipper trade …

Just a few days after nearly getting shot up in New York City at Rucker Park by someone doing his best Motaw impersonation, Nate Robinson, one of the NBA’s premier Instagram sneakerheads, as well as one of the very loosest on-court cannons in the league, decided he wasn’t taking anymore chances. Free agency is kind of like the single life – you can flirt, have no strings attached, and at the end of the day, you don’t need to check in with anybody – but eventually, you realize you need some security. Maybe the timing was just right, or maybe Robinson decided he’d rather sign on the dotted line now than risk another wild situation getting the best of him. Crazier things have happened. SI.com reports the former dunk champ seems poised to head to Chicago to help fill the massive void left by Derrick Rose‘s knee injury. It’s not official yet, but barring any out-of-the-blue issues, it’ll happen very soon. The contract will likely pay Robinson the veteran’s minimum for next season, which comes out to around $1.2 million. We’re sure that’s not exactly what Robinson was looking for when he came into free agency, but what can you expect? No one wants to give a long-term deal to a dude who’s smaller than you and us, chucks shots at a ridiculous rate and doesn’t have the greatest retain rate. Check out his resume: the man has played for five teams since the 2009-10 season alone. But on the positive side – and if we’re fans of the Bulls, we’re actually pretty excited about this – Robinson should get an opportunity as an instant offense man off the bench. He’ll make a fantasy roster or two next season for at least the first half of the year until Rose gets back … The Clippers traded for Willie Green so Vinny Del Negro can have some company on the bench next season. Who did they give up? The rights to Sofoklis Schortsanitis… aka the guy who was known as Baby Shaq for a little while, and became somewhat of an international phenom after the 2006 World Championships when he scored 14 points in 17 minutes, and mashed Dwight Howard, Chris Bosh and Elton Brand into overcooked pretzels as the Greeks beat Team USA. But now, he’s just some random dude with a fat ass and a terrible name who’ll probably never matter in the NBA. The Hawks also received a small trade exception in the move … And have you been looking for a way to help stop all of this unnecessary violence going on in the streets? Check out our new “Shoot Jumpers. Not Guns” t-shirt. All of the profits are going back into the streets. Show your love for the game by copping … We’re out like Ryan Lochte‘s momentum.

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