What he said. Although I can’t decide if Miami lost or Dallas won. Most likely it was some indeterminate combination of the two. But no matter how you look at it, it was fun watching Erik Spoelstra quietly s*** his pants as Miami decided to go November 2010 on us. Anyway, here are the winners and losers of Game 2.
Winners
J.J. Barea: For jumping on Mike Miller WWE style for the three count. On the flip side, someone explain to me how Miller can get a technical for a “get off me” shove while Dwyane Wade can bark at the officials for two minutes after a no-call?
Hannah Storm: For ripping Jason Kidd to shreds during the halftime interview. We all know Jason Kidd is old, but Hannah felt the need to hammer it home. Not only did she emphasize his playing in the league for 17 seasons on multiple occasions, she noted that Wade was 12 when he entered the league and Dirk Nowitzki called him a fossil.
Brian Cardinal: For getting in the game! Any time I get to use the nickname “The Custodian,” I’m happy. And any time I get to see the love child of Brian Scalabrine and Matt Bonner, I’m just beaming.
Chris Bosh: For the most creative “throw me the alley-oop” signal. If there were ever any doubts that Chris Bosh is an alien, there shouldn’t be any now. Part of me wanted to slate him as a loser for Tyson Chandler‘s breaking up of the play, but Bosh gets an A for creativity.
Joel Anthony: For attempting ONE field goal in two games and scoring ZERO points. Yet somehow he’s still able to impact the game. You’d think he’d have at least one dunk after the entire Mavs defense converged on LeBron in the paint, but no. I think it’s better this way.
Miami Heat: Of course Miami is the biggest loser for choking away a 15-point lead, but props to its offensive firepower for being able to play effectively when one of its players literally doesn’t even attempt a field goal.
Mavs’ Towel Boy: For giving Dwyane Wade a mini-shove after celebrating a three in the fourth in front of the Mavs’ bench. Granted, he was too scared to actually tell him to stop celebrating in front of the entire Mavs team (well, so was the Mavs bench), but some semblance of effort was there.
Dirk Nowitzki: For sticking his tounge out on the game-winning lay-up. Scottie Pippen may think LeBron is better than Jordan, but Dirk clearly wants that comparison made public as well.
Losers
Chris Bosh: If the Big Three really are a Big 2 and ½ , then Bosh is only ¼ of it. His 4-of-16 for 12 points culminated with Dirk not only shaking him with a half spin, but finishing with his injured left. He might as well have slapped Bosh upside the head after the layup.
DeShawn Stevenson: For unnecessarily diving into the crowd head first in the first quarter. What took this play to the next level was the obnoxious Miami fan standing up and clapping in his face, coupled with the classic I’m-only-here-because-some-rich-guy-took-me-to-the-game” girl being nailed in the face by Stevenson’s shoulder. And then of course Stevenson gets the wind knocked out of him by a LeBron screen two seconds later. LeBron 1, DeShawn -1.
Two Miami Fans: For screwing up an air high five after a LeBron three in the first quarter made it 14-13 Miami. What did they do, you ask? One fan reached too far and fell over the girl setting next to him. Any chances of that relationship working out promptly failed.
Doris Burke: For being ESPN’s guinea pig. I wish I had been there for ESPN’s TV producer saying, “Hey Doris, do you want to wear Dirk’s finger tape on national television to demonstrate how it works? We have nothing else for you to do, so you might as well explain the inner workings of taping someone’s finger.”
Doris: “Uh, okay. As long as I get the cool microphone again.”
Peja Stojakovic: For clearly belonging in some low level European league. I’ve literally never seen someone so outmatched offensively and defensively at the same time.
Erik Spoelstra: For using “ain’t” in a mic’d up huddle in an attempt to sound hip. Complete failure.
Outro music of the first half: All they did was take the regular NBA on ESPN music and slow it down. It sounded like a funeral march.
Jason Terry: For deciding to prevent LeBron from catching the ball 45 feet from the basket instead of guarding Mario Chalmers. But nothing topped Dirk’s post-game interview with Doris. When she stated that Jason Terry’s mental lapse at the end of game was forgiven due to his solid shooting performance, Dirk didn’t react. Instead he walked away silently.
Mike Bibby: For going 4-for-7 from three and still being pulled in crunch time for an 0–for-5 Chalmers. Granted it worked out, but that was a slap in the face.
Who do you think were the biggest winners and losers from Game 2?
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