Developmental psychologists have said that infancy – birth to the inception of speech – is the most malleable and pliant stage of human life. No one is more impressionable, more susceptible, more wide-eyed and innocent than at the ripe stage of infancy. Well, apparently those “developmental psychologists” never flew from California to New York and interned at Dime for two months. Doctors, they think they know everything…
Now, one would assume that interning at a basketball magazine would prove beneficial to the standard vocabulary. I think that’s a fair assertion. Reading and writing, researching and editing – all beneficial to the growth and development of the human vernacular. Right? Ha.
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What you’re about to read is real. As real as that chair you’re sitting in, that computer you’re staring at, and those adult magazines you have have stashed away in that shoe box labeled “Baseball Cards” sitting on the top shelf in your closet. Yeah, that real.
Ladies and Gentlemen, without further ado, The Dime Flossary (from the account of an even more impressionable, even more susceptible, even more wide-eyed, and even more innocent 21-year-old sheltered suburban California bubble resident). Enjoy.
Swavor: A combination of swagger and flavor. Used to describe something in a positive light. For example: “That dude’s got swavour.”
Fluke buckets: A lucky or accidental shot/touchdown/homerun/goal. For example: In the Japan vs. U.S. Women’s World Cup final, a Japan player dribbled down the sideline and fired a cross. As she struck the ball, a crowd gathered in front of the goal, awaiting the incoming pass. The ball however, was heading directly for the goal. Hope Solo, in preparation for the cross, backed up to the painted line of the goal. As the misguided ball made its descent, Solo scrambled to adjust, but it was too late. The ball landed in front of Solo, one-hopped her swiping hand, and bounced into the goal. In other words, FLUKE BUCKETS!!!!!!
Suss: Something questionable or out of the ordinary. For example: “I found a hair in my salad. That’s suss.”
Switching up the swag: Breaking away from a normal routine. For example: Dylan, a fellow intern, dressed up one day for work, thus, “switching up the swag.”
Jiggas: One thousand dollars. For example: “Yo, that’s a lot of jiggas.”
Crispy/Icy: Something that looks good. For example: “That hat is crispy.” “That shirt is icy.”
Cooking: Doing well at your current activity. For example: “Jaimie was cooking out there! He must have had like 40 points.”
My son: An NBA or college basketball player you admire. For example: “Joe Johnson is my son!”
Flugaze: Being a bandwagon sports fan. For example: “He’s a Mavericks fan now? Man, that’s flugaze.”
Brick: Cold temperature. For example: “My hands were frozen this morning. It was so brick…”
Spicy: Hot in temperature, as opposed to taste. For example: “It’s so spicy outside! Must be like 104.”
No. 1 Swindler: A sketchy guy. For example: “He was trying to get with my girl – dude’s a No. 1 swindler.”
The following terms all having similar meanings. The number next to each word symbolizes it’s increasing seriousness. Put it this way, you DO NOT want to be called one of these.
Definitions below provided by fellow intern Jaimie Canterbury:
(1) Loaf: You can recover, you have time to come back. For example: “You didn’t draft Bismack?!” “I loafed!!!”
(2) Scroaf: You can’t come back from that. For example: “Casey Anthony is a scroaf.”
(3) F— boy: The worst thing you can be. No example can provide this Herculean-sized insult justice.
The End.
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