Warriors Big Man Festus Ezeli Wishes You A Very, Very Happy Festivus

12.23.15 3 years ago

If Festivus founder Frank Costanza were a fan of the NBA, he’d have many good choices to choose from when it comes to the Feats of Strength.

Massive physical marvels like LeBron James, Andre Drummond, and DeMarcus Cousins immediately come to mind, as do more diminutive iterations of all-around athleticism like Eric Bledsoe and Russell Westbrook. James Johnson comes from a family of martial artists, and David West might be the league’s most legitimately feared player. The canny smarts of Chris Paul or Steph Curry would surely make for a worthy selection, too.

But considering the fortuitous name and hulking nature of Festus Ezeli, Frank would certainly have to give him legitimate consideration. And after hearing his excitement for everyone’s favorite holiday, the Golden State Warriors big man would surely make for an easy choice. Frank, as Seinfeld addicts know well, doesn’t exactly shy away from making life hard on his son – and George would be no match for the 6’11, 265-pounder.

Ezeli and the Warriors, by the way, will try and spread some Festivus jeer to the Cleveland Cavaliers on Christmas Day in the most highly-anticipated regular season matchup of 2015-16.

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