Kobe Bryant’s 10 Most Bad Ass Quotes This Season (Updated)

The season wasn’t even halfway done, and Kobe Bryant had still uttered enough to reporters to fill a top-10 list. Bryant is still going strong in 2012-13 as we get within a month of the playoffs.

After a loss to Philadelphia dropped the Lakers to a disappointing 15-16 on the season in early January, Kobe told ESPN’s Dave McMenamin that there was a simple answer for the Lakers troubles. When asked why the Lakers have experienced a lack of energy so far this season, he replied, “‘Cause we’re old as shit.” This is not the first time Kobe has popped off to the media this season, though. No, there have been countless times already this year where Kobe’s unfiltered anger/snark/humor/vengeance boiled over and reporters were there, pen in hand.

Here are the 10 best so far…

(UPDATED, March 14: We’ve included some new quotes from the Lakers’ renewed playoff run, a veritable gold mine of Mamba-isms.)

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10. “He Jalen Rose’d me.”

Bryant has a memory like Google. After severely spraining his ankle on March 13 against Atlanta on a potentially game-tying jumper after landing on Dahntay Jones‘ heel, Bryant mentally searched his index of BS plays and came up with just ONE other that offended him this badly.



Yep, Jalen Rose was the only other culprit for such an ankle-under-the-foot play. Any player will side with Bryant in that it’s strictly not OK when a defender puts his foot under your landing space on a jumper. You can hate Bryant as a player but that fact is non-negotiable if you’ve ever suited up. Still, labeling the play after the only other person to do that to you seems like a classic Bryant move. Kobe remembers all.

What would other stars’ similar reactions be like?

Michael Jordan: “He Reggie Miller‘d me.”

Bryon Russell: “He Michael Jordan‘d me.”

Alton Lister: “He Shawn Kemp‘d me.”

Brandon Knight: “He DeAndre Jordan‘d me.”

Yao Ming: “He Kobe Bryant‘d me.”

9. “Man, I’ll talk to him. Just go out there and bust their ass. Show them what they’re missing.”

This was in response to Howard’s game on March 13 in Orlando, his first time back in Central Florida in another uniform after his contentious exit the summer before. Howard had spent the past week apologizing, and rightfully so, for his dumb comments about his former Magic teammates being untalented, essentially. But trying to save face only looked like a weakness for Bryant. Enter Kobe, whose advice is to say screw them, just go out there and dominate. We can’t think of a more classic “Kobe” sentiment than to turn your blood cold and rip out someone’s heart. Kobe may appear to be more open about his life and future retirement this season at 34, but don’t mistake his openness for vulnerability. He’ll reach in and stop your team’s heart like it’s “Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom” if you give him a chance.

8. “He’s good, he’s getting the f___ outta the way.”

When ESPN Los Angeles reporter Arash Markazi asked Kobe Bryant what he thought after a couple games playing for Bernie Bickerstaff, Kobe again sounded off without the filter normally reserved for such tenuous questions surrounding your coach. Kobe said Bickerstaff was good, but with the caveat that it’s only because “he’s getting the f___ outta the way.” The implicit undertone of the comment was that former coach, Mike Brown, with all his calls for tougher defense and his new Princeton offense, wasn’t getting out of the way enough for the Lakers to succeed. It also doubles as a warning to management to get a real coach on the sidelines, or Kobe’s personality was going to eat the team alive. The implied theme of this quote is that Kobe and the Lakers are a talented bunch, who had – at that time – been offset by coaching ineptitude, even as he’d earlier supported his former coach. It was a fun quote in an already fun season for the Lakers; fun, that is, for everybody but Lakers fans.